“So this is how it feels to be lonely, this is how it feels to be small” ~ The Inspiral Carpets

Or, as defined by my dictionary

Lonely (adj): isolated, unhappy at being alone, rarely visited


Of all the human conditions that can be suffered, loneliness is perhaps the one that brings out the most pathos.  It’s something that everyone has experienced at some point; a condition or state that is so very much “there but for the grace of God go I”

Every day, calls are put into the Samaritans from people who are lonely; housebound due to disability or age, no family in easy visiting distance or some with no family at all. There may not be any particular tragedy attached to their life, other than people they knew are no longer alive. Which, whilst a natural progression of life, is so poignant as to make one weep.

Advances in technology, the plethora of social media platforms; these things can provide an essential conduit to many. To be able to banter online, to be able to Skype your family in another country, the fact that these things are so easy to do amazes me.

Of course it is not necessary to be physically ‘alone’ to feel lonely.. The lack of likeminded souls in an environment can lead to feelings of isolation. That can happen in your work, with your friends, in your own home. And it can take a brave soul to admit to feeling lonely in that situation. For feeling lonely is seen a shameful thing, to be hidden away and not talked about. ‘How dare you not fit in with us here? What’s wrong with you? We’re all fine.’ Hard, very hard sometimes, to speak against that. It can be much easier to start to believe that there is something wrong with you, to push the loneliness of feeling different, the unease, deep down inside.

I don’t think there’s anything shameful in feeling lonely. I know it feels horrible, I know it feels small, but I wish I could help stop anyone feeling ashamed of it. I joined Twitter because I was lonely. It took a long time for me to be able to admit it. But in admitting it, in letting that deep down unease come out a little, I found that a fair few people felt the same and that in turn helped me to do something about it for myself.

That isn’t an answer for everyone, I know. I say it merely to highlight that when I speak of loneliness I am not coming at from the abstract pondering but from personal experience.

There are over 7 billion people in the world. We are all unique but also we’re not so very different. If you feel lonely, if you feel isolated in your world, then perhaps it’s time to stop thinking it’s something that is wrong with you, stop trying to suppress yourself, and take a peek at the wider world. You never know, you might be the missing piece that helps ease someone else’s loneliness too.



5 thoughts on “Loneliness

  1. I have read your blog for a long time now, commented once before a long time ago but reading this resonates at the moment, I have felt true loneliness many times before and used to find solace in deeply sad music, there is a great song by The Mission where the words say : “loneliness is the cross I bear, solitude is the cloak I wear, I miss you, I need you, I love you…” and that always helped because it meant someone had felt the same as me and so I wasn’t so alone after all…. Now, many years later I still feel lonely at times but I now know it isn’t being lonely per se buy being loved – having someone with me who can make all the hurt go away, someone who’s embrace can say more than any words. I have never had that in spite of the fact I have children and am nearly 40 but then they say life starts then right??!!…

    I have suffered a lot in my life, I have been sectioned as a teenager for depression and suicide but I am still here today, fighting on and looking, hoping for that love one day but sadly I think I am too old now and it has passed me by. I hope my children have better luck than I had but things like your blog help people on their journey because they give people hope and stop them feeling so alone and for that you are to be applauded and thanked! Keep up the good work 😉

    A man 🙂

    • I’ve been looking at your comment for 2 days and I still don’t know how to reply.

      That is so much to go through that I can’t even imagine. Your heart must feel so heavy for it. Don’t ever give up; every day is a new adventure and we never know what is around the next corner.

      Thank you for the compliment and thank you so much for sharing.

      Be well 🙂

      • The thing is there is no reply really, it is just how it is! I am good now, I used to be very depressed and things were awful for a very long time but I found a way out of depression, I faced my demons and won, sure there are times I feel down or lonely but by and large life is good now. I did psychology when I was younger but found no satisfaction there and now I am qualified counsellor, hopefully given that I have been to the darkest places and back I can help people better.

        I am writing a book about my life and how I beat depression, not as a self help book but more as a way for others to see that you can not only survive but win! I hope that I didn’t give the impression that I am still suffering because I am not, not really anyway, certainly not like I used to, I want to inspire people to be better, to always try and move forwards in life, never live in the past because you will miss your own future and all that 🙂

        I love your blog, I love how you can help so many people with your words. If I can help people in the same way then I will be a happy camper! But, and sorry for the long winded reply I wanted to thank you for taking the time to reply to me, I will keep plugging away, like you say, we don’t know what is around the corner, sadly on the Isle of Wight I think there is not a lot around the corner because the island is tiny and nothing really happens here but it is very lovely all the same 😉 Thank you, I will try and keep any replies short hereon in 😀 xx

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