“A real woman needs a real man, here’s why” ~ Mika

Or, as defined by my dictionary

Real (adj): exisitng, actual, not imaginary; true, genuine, not artificial


Last night I looked at some things being said online and discovered that I’m not real. I don’t mind admitting that it was a bit of a blow. I checked my reflection, I pinched my arm; I looked real, I felt real. But no, it said it on the internet and so it must be true. I’m not real.

The reason? Cos real women have curves.

Real women. So, being as I a currently am, a fairly straight up & down size 10/12, I’m not a real woman. What to do, dear reader, what to do?

I guess surgery is an option, right? If I augment my figure through breast implants to a 36DD, thereby imbuing myself with a curve I’m extremely unlikely to ever incur via nature, do I become a ‘real woman’?

Now, I have no problem with breast implants. I don’t want them but if you do or if you have them then fair enough. There’s a lot said about them but I’m of the opinion that all having breast implants says about you is that you are a person who has breast implants.

However, when it comes to the ‘real women’ comment, I’m not sure people who say this have thought it through. I’m not real because I’m currently a bit lacking in curves. But spend a few grand on buying some curves and I become real? Really? Not real because of my personality, not real because of my opinions, not real because of my love for my friends, my sense of humour, my pedantic nature, my fondness for a glass of red wine, and a deep abiding love for a bit of brie? No, apparently it all comes down to the curves. And, I imagine, my depleted finances.

People do not come in neatly defined packages; be that size, be that gender, be that sexuality. To exist is to be real, to be a person is to be real. That is the long, the short, the big, the small, and, indeed, the end of it.

I’m not a fan of telling people what to do. But if you are a person who defines whether or not a person is real merely based on the shape of their body, I would really like it if you went away and had a think about this. Then drop me a line on a comment box-shaped postcard.



4 thoughts on “Real?

  1. Oh, curves are just one of the things. I have abundant curves, and yet I am not a ‘real’ woman because I don’t wear skirts often enough, like videogames and refuse to marry and have kids.

    If we listened to all the knobheads who decided what a ‘real’ woman in, there would be no ‘real’ women in the world. And it’s funny that these knobheads tend to be men, who are probably the least appropriate to decide what a ‘real’ woman is.

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