I Never Could Get the Hang of Thursdays: A Letter To My Best Friend

“You’re my best friend” ~ Queen

Or, as defined by my dictionary

Best Friend (n): someone with whom one shares the strongest possible friendship, an especially close and trusted friend


Where are you?

Apparently you’re still dead. That’s as preposterous and ridiculous as it was when Jamie rang me a year ago to tell me. Why are you dead? Dude, that was never on the agenda. Weren’t you at the meeting?

I don’t imagine you’d ever wondered where I would be when receiving news of your death. I mean, we covered funerals and all that but I think we both thought I was always going first. However, as you beat me to it, I think you’d approve of the circumstances; I was drunk in a pub with @bear_faced_lady. I gave the couple at the next table quite the cause for concern as I stood up, wandered about in a 360, then sat back down on a stool. The ensuing surging flow of tears was probably also a heads up that things weren’t exactly right. Mate, really, dying? Come on…

Oh, and on that subject, dying in your dressing gown on a Thursday morning? Too Arthur Dent for words. “I never could get the hang of Thursdays” indeed. That should be your epitaph. For me it always will be.

They raised the UK threat level the day after you died, did you know that? You’ll be pleased to see that Jamie and I dealt with this in our usual respectful manner:




I miss you, mate. I fucking miss you. How can you be dead?

Honestly, it’s also massively inconvenient. It’s messed up Strictly, for starters. And don’t get me started on Game of Thrones. @MagicDarts has stepped in to the breach but he’s hardly the same. And as for Terry Pratchett…  He died, Dave, he died, and that is all manner awful. Ok, apparently you died too and that’s why I’m writing this but still… Neither of you are (fuck off with ‘were’ and notions of past tense) afterlife kind of people. But if there’s any concept of justice anywhere then I really hope you both got Death AND the Death of Rats. SQUEAK.


(from: http://atan.deviantart.com/art/The-Death-of-Rats-16125387)

I know, I really know, how much you would hate the pain your absence causes. How apologetic you would be for it. I can hear your voice, teenager style, saying “I didn’t ask to be dead.”

I just can’t believe I’m never going to see you again.

I miss you. You’ll always be my best friend.




*Best Friend’s Note: Dave died last year following a massive brain haemorrhage. This is the post I wrote the following day





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