Life Choices

“Life is what you make it of it” ~ The Stereophonics

Or, as defined by my dictionary

Life (n): the state or quality that identifies living beings

 

I wrote about life back when I started blogging but things have been swirling in my head recently and this seemed like the time to capture them.

Everyone has choices in life; what subjects to study, what university to go to, if at all, where to live, who to date., do I really want that job, can I afford it, and und so weiter. These are all fairly usual life choices, sometimes made at points when you haven’t really got a scooby what you want from or in life but the decision is there to be made nonetheless.

Of course, for some, those are the choices of the luxurious. For some, their scope of scope of choice is so limited as to barely to seem like a choice at all; open your eyes or not, move before being beaten or move and be beaten anyway, walk 8 miles to get water or die of dehydration. These are the extremes of the scale but realities of life too, just as much as the agony of indecision over too much choice is a reality for others.

And many of us do have so much to choose from. Who hasn’t panic ordered a familiar item in a restaurant when faced with a large menu and a hovering waitress, just because there was so much choice? There are often people asking others on Twitter for their input into a decision as life can sometimes feel so bewildering, from the choice of what to cook for dinner, where to go on holiday, who to vote for. The choices, and the speculation over making them, goes far and wide.

And of course it’s as easy to ponder the choices of others and envy them, as it is to be bewildered as to why they ever thought that doing what they did was the right idea. We can never really know what goes in someone else’s life, the realities of the situation in their own mind. What seems a perfect life from the outside may be a mere façade, presented to the outside world to hide a lifetime of regret and heartache. What we think life expects of us, what we base our choices on, can have as much bearing on the way our lives go as the actual choices themselves.

But if your life has gone somewhere that you now realise you didn’t want, if you want things to change, or even if you are perfectly happy but want to do more or do things differently, then those choices are out there. Other people have huge influence over our lives but the only person who’s life it is, the only person who is going to live it, is you. Your life choice.

For, as a friend said to me recently, “Some things, if we are unhappy about them, we can only do so much about – head, face, feet size, height etc. Almost everything else – your job.”

So what are your life choices? What do you want to make your life? Interested in your thoughts, as always, on a comment box-shaped postcard.

 

Princess

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What If?

“No regrets they don’t work. No regrets they only hurt.” ~ Robbie Williams

Or, as defined by my dictionary

Regret (vb): to feel sorry or upset about, a feeling of repentance, guilt, or sorrow

 

(image from http://xkcd.com/)

 

I don’t like regrets. That’s not to say I don’t have situations I wish had been different, or that my actions had been different. I just dislike the label ‘regrets’. I don’t think anyone gets through their life without wishing some things had turned out differently or they had chosen a different or perceived better path.

However, the ‘what if’ route is all too easy to get stuck down. What if I’d chosen that job? What if I’d studied that subject at university? What if I’d stayed home that night? They mount up and up and up. We can wish our lives away wanting things to be different. However, and this is the important bit, we can’t change any of it. What has happened has happened. It cannot be changed. (Up until the time Dr Who and his TARDIS turn up, anyway.)

What ifs are also incredibly seductive. They help us while away an hour or two, they’re a form of escapism from whatever situation we are in, especially when it is one we don’t like and want to change. I’m all in favour of a good daydream, I do it all the time. I just think it is very important not to get sucked into trying to rewrite the past or act as though it didn’t happen.

There’s a book that addresses this ever so well. I don’t own it so this is not an exact quote but a man and a woman are discussing the ‘what if we’d got together scenario’. He is being especially wistful then she says “but what about the fire?” This naturally confuses him and then she explains “the fire that spread through our house and killed us both just after we were married.”

See! That’s a proper answer to a what if! We don’t know what would have happened if we’d acted differently. We could have taken that job, the firm could have gone under & we could have been penniless. The university subject could have proved dull as dishwater. A car could have crashed into your house if you’d stayed in and crushed you on your sofa.

The important thing is, even if you don’t like all that has gone before, it has made you who are now. It has got to you to this point in time. The future is yours to do with as you wish, don’t waste it on wishing your past away.

 

Princess