To Protest

“Too many protest singers, not enough protest songs” ~ Edwyn Collins

Or, as defined by my dictionary

Protest (n): an expression of strong opposition to or disapproval of something in the form of a public demonstration or other action

 

I’ve never been a great protester. Probably due to a mixture of lack of knowledge and lack of interest. However I have become much more aware of many injustices in the world over the last few years and, whilst you can’t fight every battle, I do know make my voice heard on things that matter to me.

In the last year, I’ve signed countless petitions, written to my MP on several occasions, been out on strike, helped to fundraise, and been on protests marches.

It’s the last that I want to say a little more on.

Firstly, the Slutwalk. I don’t have the words for how much the reasons for this existing infuriate me. In this day and age for police officers to tell college girls to watch how they dress so they don’t get sexually assaulted is an outrage. The full details of the story are here. Now, this would be to a degree mitigated if they’d pop in to talk to some college guys and told them not to sexually assault women but that doesn’t seem to have happened. One question: WHY NOT? The overwhelming majority of women I know have not been sexually assaulted. The overwhelmingly majority of guys I know haven’t sexually assaulted anyone. Yet one group gets told not to incite such behaviour but the other doesn’t get told not to do it? Give me a break.

 

Secondly, the recent Police Federation march against the cuts to pay and conditions. I’ve said it before and for clarity I’ll say it again, I am not a police officer. Check out #antiwinsornetwork if you want to read more from those directly affected. I went to show my support for this because friends and people I love will be adversely affected by this. I went because I think our police service is the best in the world and I want it to remain so. I went because, as a member of the public, if I or any of my loved ones suffer a crime I want there to be fully trained police officers there to deal with it. They do a job that many of us couldn’t. They deserve our respect and our support.

 

Third and finally, I did a sponsored walk as part of The Justice Gap team the other day. I love saying ‘sponsored walk’, it makes me feel about ten years old! Now this wasn’t a protest march, it was to raise funds for law centres,. The reason I mention it is this is yet another area that needs our support. The justice system needs these centres, needs legal aid lawyers, and they are also being failed by LASPO being given Royal Assent. For further information, please have a look here. It’s also not too late to chuck our team a few quid, details here.

 

This is just a snapshot of what I’ve done, what inspires me to get involved. The central theme for me is justice, in various forms. There are many, many worthy causes and fights in the world. These are just some of the ones close to my heart.

What inspires you to get involve, fundraise, protest? Thoughts, as always on a comment-box shaped postcard please.

 

Princess

Happiness of the Day…

“I feel myself falling, I’m feeling happy now” ~ Take That

Or, as defined by my dictionary:

Happy (adj): feeling or expressing joy, causing joy or gladness, fortunate or lucky

 

Things I currently feel very grateful for…

Happiness is:

 

A lie in

The purring of a cat

Silly conversations with a friend

Your team winning

Being trusted

The warmth of the sun on your skin when walking

Surprise gifts

Good food

Hugs

Justice

Freedom

 

Share your happy things on a comment box-shaped postcard and, whatever you’re up to, have a happy day.

 

Princess

A Fair Affair?

“Let’s have a fair affair, je t’aime my love, oh yeah” ~ Misty Oldland

Or, as defined by my dictionary

Affair (n): an intense amorous relationship, usually of short duration

 

Ok, before I get going let’s make it clear that within this post I am using the word ‘affair’ to define an amorous relationship between two people when at least one of them is involved with somebody else. Yes, there are other definitions. But I’m not writing about them today.

I will also hold my hand up to not having always been whiter than white in some of my relationships. Therefore this post is not meant to be judgemental, mainly observational with a strong nudge towards thought and questioning at the end. If anyone does think I’m having a go then please leave a comment or drop me an email.

So, “a fair affair”. It’s an oxymoron. It isn’t possible to have a ‘fair’ affair. The very nature of an affair involves lying, deceit, actions that fly in the face of fairness.

Affairs did not start happening because of the internet. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if, back in the Stone Age, one caveman probably snuck off from the hunt to visit someone else’s cave (possibly a euphemism). Through the ages, the importance of sexual fidelity has waxed and waned. Produce a legitimate heir, maybe a back-up one just in case then, so long as you’re discreet, off you go!

However it’s 2012. I don’t know how many of us are on the internet. Figures published today say that there are 10 million active users of Twitter in the UK, out of 140 million users worldwide (other social media sites are available) but it’s pretty clear that the escalation of the internet usage and social media have hugely increased the potential to have an illicit liaison or three.

Recently I thought two people I follow on Twitter were having an affair. One is single, the other married with children. I have subsequently found out I was wrong in part. The married one is having an affair, just not with who I thought, and is sending at times vile tweets about their domestic situation coupled with the cryptic, wistful “I wish you were here” style of tweets. Of course, it is none of my business but it makes me sad; sad they are so scathing about their partner and also sad that they are using Twitter as a means to fuel their flirtation.

I see a lot of those kind of tweets. I’m sure you do too. The half-veiled comments, the little in-jokes, the banter. Anyone who has ever worked in an office where two people are getting involved will have seen this time and time again. Now a bit of banter is fine. Healthy, probably. But there is a line. And when it slips over to emotionally engaging with a person when you are already attached I think that line is crossed. And as for the physical? However you dress it up, you are cheating on the person you profess to love. If you’re married then you’re likely cheating on the person you promised to “love, honour and obey”. That “with my body I thee worship” line? Yeah, think about it. Along with “forsaking all others”. It means no having it off with anyone else. Obviously other and alternative vows are used too but I’ve never been to any kind of marriage service that didn’t have fidelity as one of the central themes.

Now I have good cause to know affairs, emotional and physical, happen for all sorts of reasons; loneliness, emotional cruelty, neglect. Also because people are greedy, selfish, promiscuous, the list goes on. It’s another of my firmly held beliefs that ultimately they happen because people are either trying to fill a void or ignore a problem. Either way these actions hurt people. They hurt friends, they hurt family, they hurt loved ones, they hurt children. I also believe that acting in a lying and deceitful manner, especially if you think it’s justified, is incredibly damaging to the self.

I’ve linked to this before but it’s appropriate and well-written so here is a great post by @nosweetnothings. If you think you’re drifting into unsafe waters then have a read. If you think what you are doing is just a bit of fun then think how you would feel if you found your other half was engaging in such behaviour behind your back. And if you are deep into something then please have a look at your reasons. Chances are everyone in the situation deserves better.

I really am interested in your thoughts on this so please drop me a line or two in a comment box-shaped postcard. Thank you.

 

Princess

I Can’t Help You, If You Won’t Help Yourself

“I can’t help you, if you won’t help yourself” ~ Amy Winehouse

Or, as defined by my dictionary:

Help Yourself (idiom): To serve or provide onself

 

I get quite creative in my bath. (Not like that, stop sniggering at the back!). What I mean is some of my best musings, ponderings, major decisions, all come from that time of peace and still in the dark, with music in the background, as thoughts drift through my head. It’s no coincidence that nearly all my blog posts have been composed mentally whilst either in the bath or in the small hours of the night when I can’t sleep.

This afternoon, whilst in the bath, I mused for awhile and topped and tailed a blog post on Strength. (Watch this space.) I then read a few chapters of a book that touched on rejection. This blew the post I had been planning in the last 48 hours on Rejection out of the water, if you’ll pardon the pun.

So then I thought about my weekend. Bar phonecalls and interactions with shop assistants (yes, I am old enough to buy this bottle of wine at the self-service till) I have spent the last couple of days alone. Now this is partly through choice so don’t play the world’s smallest violin at me just yet. I like my own company, I like my own space, I like the freedom to do what I want, when I want. This is often very little but then what of it?

But, just at times, I get lonely. Bone-achingly, crushingly, lonely. I live on my own, I have no friends who live that close (like, popping round for a cuppa in your slippers distance – yes, I did used to have this), and I’m single. I’m happy, I have great friends all over, and I’m sure one day I’ll go on another date or two, just occasionally it all gets me down.

Sometime last year there was an article that said you’re supposed to get 13 hugs a day. It makes you healthy. Or something. A DAY??? I don’t get 13 hugs in a week! The point being, of course, that human beings are sociable creatures and pack animals. We may not always like it or want it, but we do need each other and we do need physical contact. In lieu of a hug, I shall hope one of my cat visitors pops round to say hello later.

Anyway, anyway, whilst pondering all this, turning it into a blog post, then rejecting it on the grounds of being maudlin and “I’m only a poor little leopard” the following lyrics permeated my consciousness from the stereo:

“I can’t help you if you won’t help yourself
I can’t help you if you don’t help yourself
You can only get so much from someone yeah
You can get so much from me
I can’t help you if you won’t help yourself”

Well, you do kinda have to laugh at the timing, don’t you? I duly considered myself told by the universe. I will now enjoy my evening in and look forward to all the socialising I have to come. And, hopefully, a hug or two.

Now please share; do you get lonely? Do you get enough hugs? And is 13 unlucky for some? Answers on a comment box-shaped postcard, as always.

 

Princess

Serious Happiness…

“I feel myself falling, I’m feeling happy now” ~ Take That

Or, as defined by my dictionary:

Happy (adj): feeling or expressing joy, causing joy or gladness, fortunate or lucky

 

We, that have the right to right to protest and express our views…

Happiness is:

 

Standing up for what you believe is right

Making a voice for those too weak, too dispirited, too frightened to speak

Justice

The freedom to express an opinion

The opportunity to debate

Allowing others a voice even if you disagree

Protecting those in need

And standing up to those trampling on others

Knowing and accepting that freedom and power come with responsibilites

 

Those of us that have these things should treasure them and never abuse them.

 

Thoughts, as always, on a comment box-shaped postcard

 

Princess

Just say yes…

“Just say yes. Just say there’s nothing holding you back.” ~ Snow Patrol

Or, as defined by my dictionary

Yes (adv): Used to express consent, agreement, or approval, or to answer when one is addressed.

 

I have been trying to write a post on procrastination for weeks. Somewhat ironic that I can’t do it, yes? But it isn’t due to me putting it off, it’s because every time I try it turns into such a blistering polemic I have to back away from my keyboard! That’s not very like me so, having out some more thought into it, it isn’t procrastination that I want to write about but commitment. Not necessarily “Yes, I do” wedding bells commitement, but just saying a wholehearted yes.

There are articles written on a fairly regular basis saying we are all doing too much. Women’s magazines often say we need to say ‘no’ more often. (Men’s magazines may have articles like this too but i don’t know as I don’t read them). This is from the idea that people are reluctant to say no to others and end up taking on too much work etc. Well I can see the sense behind that but agreeing to do an extra task or cover a shift or work late is rarely, if ever, done with a resounding yes. It’s more of a ‘yeah, ok’ with a bit of sinking feeling inside.

So, instead, I’m advocating a slight shift in thinking. Instead of thinking about saying no, think about when you can say yes and mean it. Really be open and into whatever is being asked/offered/suggested. Some of you will have read Yes Man by Danny Wallace (if you haven’t do, it’s great. I don’t recommend the Jim Carrey film though). The premise is that he started saying yes. To everything. Of course this quickly got ludicrous and even he had to set some boundaries. So I’m not saying we can avoid those ‘yeah, ok’ moments completely. But we certainly can look to grasp those opportunities that life offers us with both hands.

And this ties back into procrastination like this; it’s been said that life is too short to stuff a mushroom. No, it isn’t! Stuff as many mushrooms as you want. Try peppers too. And then, preferably, invite me round for dinner! Just, if stuffing mushrooms is what you want to do, then do it. Say yes to it. Don’t put it off because you might get it wrong or look stupid doing it or because there will be time tomorrow. There might not be mushrooms tomorrow. Or worse, there might not be time. Read this by @Bruce2990.

Now think about what you want to do and say yes to it.

 

Princess

Beauty

“Beauty’s only skin deep, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know that…
Beauty’s only skin deep, yes indeed.” ~ The Temptations

Or, as defined by my dictionary

Beauty (n): the combination of all the qualities of a person or thing that delight the senses and mind

 

I can’t recall I’ve ever looked up a word for this blog and been quite so delighted with the definition as I have with this one. Go on, read it again…doesn’t it make you curl your toes with delight?

Anyway, in the current media climate, one cannot write a blog on the subject of beauty without mentioning Ms Samantha Brick. As far as I can tell, Ms Brick is an ok looking woman who has maximised her assets in order to achieve what she wanted, namely a wealth, career, material goods, husband. It seems to have worked for her. Fair enough. I wouldn’t mind a bit more money & a Mulberry Alexa myself but faced with the option of the bag versus holiday/good times with friends/a few more visits home to see my mum? Yeah, no competition at all.

The vitriol launched at Ms Brick has been deeply unpleasant. She seems to think she is hated because she is beautiful. No, it is that society don’t like women climbing over other women to get to the top then back-stabbing them. That is deeply unattractive behaviour. If the materialism and the domineering husband have made Ms Brick happy then good for her. Many of us would choose friendlier, less back-stabby routes to get what we want.

Sadly, “society”, in the UK at least, also doesn’t like women talking about how attractive they are. Thing is, it never works the other way round either. There was uproar about how good Helen Mirren dared to look in a bikini at 60+ (or whatever age the great Mirren is, I haven’t researched her age, but I remember she looked fab in that bikini). Posh Spice doesn’t smile on photos cos she knows she doesn’t look good. Yet she gets slated all the time for this. You ever seen a photo of her smiling? I have. She’s right, her smiling face does not work in photos. She looks great all the same. And heaven help any famous woman, especially a model, if she dares to get her figure back quickly after having a baby…

Women, it seems at the moment, can’t win. We look good and talk about it. Doom. We look good and self-deprecate. Doom. We just look good and don’t say a word. Doom. This mentality has to stop somewhere. Please?

Strangely, the idea for this post came to me because of the cats. If you follow me on Twitter you’ll know that I have a regular cat visit called RC. He is, by anyone standards, a gorgeous cat.  But this weekend there’s been a new ginger tom on the season, whom I named Macavity. The two of them had a stand off this morning. RC flattened his ears & hissed at Macavity like a demon. This is perfectly natural behaviour; his space, he feels threatened. Yet it was the one and only time I’ve ever seen this cat look ugly.

So maybe this pulling down of others we humans do is just our own version of the cat flattening the ears & hissing? Can we rise above the natural instinct of being threatened by others? Or do we need to yowl those that we perceive as a threat into submission?

It’s an ugly subject, I know. Thoughts, my darlings, on a postcard-shaped comment box as always…

 

Princess