“Don’t waste your time on me you’re already the voice inside my head (I miss you miss you)” ~ Blink 182
Or, as defined by my dictionary
Miss (vb): to regret the loss or absence of
I miss my family. Scattered in a few bits of the country, I don’t see them as often as I would like. All my siblings have stayed in my flat but my mother is too disabled to travel and has not seen the last two places I have lived in. I miss her seeing me, in my space, seeing am I ok. I miss going shopping with her, I miss doing the crossword with her, I miss the days she used to make bread. I miss my dad being long-suffering and giving me lifts hither and thither. I miss Sunday dinners and Friday night pizzas and the old table in the kitchen with the seat in the corner that was ‘Michael’s middle’ until he grew and I came along to take the place.
I miss my best friend. Again, lives far away. Always at the end of the phone and never lets me down. I hope he thinks the same of me. Our friendship has lasted over twenty years and survived many an argument and many a boxset. But talking about Game of Thrones over the phone isn’t as much fun as watching it together and shouting at the tv.
I miss having pets. My first cat was squished in the road when I was thirteen. RIP Merry. I’ve never had another pet of mine own; family cats, family dogs, family rabbits. I now have two cats that visit to sleep on my bed. But I miss having a pet that owns me.
I miss friends that I think are still friends but I never see. I miss those shared in-jokes, the lines that only they say and are screamingly funny. I miss their take on life, even when we disagree. I miss their wisdom and their kindness.
I miss friends I’ve never met. People online who become real, become a part of your life then go and leave a void. Online friendships can be very transitory but no less real for that.
I miss lovers I’ve never had. The ones of my imagination, the dreams that sustain you through a dark night when there is no-one to hold you close. I miss mattering to one special person, so much so it makes me cry.
If I know you and haven’t seen you, be it since yesterday or ever, I miss you.