Pondering Happiness

“I feel myself falling, I’m feeling happy now” ~ Take That

Or, as defined by my dictionary:

Happy (adj): feeling or expressing joy, causing joy or gladness, fortunate or lucky


I haven’t done one of these recently. But as Summer slides into Autumn I am pondering over the things I want most in my life for continued happiness


Happiness is:

People who make me laugh

A decent fried egg and mushroom sandwich

A wide and varied social circle


Tea. In a mug. Preferably one with a 70’s cartoon character on it

The satisfaction of a job well done

A good book

Friends; close, far, like-minded, utterly different, mad, bad, and wonderful to know



My family

The night sky

Always being able to find something to smile about


Count your blessings and let me know, there may be more out there than you think.




I Miss You

“Don’t waste your time on me you’re already the voice inside my head (I miss you miss you)” ~ Blink 182

Or, as defined by my dictionary

Miss (vb): to regret the loss or absence of


I miss my family. Scattered in a few bits of the country, I don’t see them as often as I would like. All my siblings have stayed in my flat but my mother is too disabled to travel and has not seen the last two places I have lived in. I miss her seeing me, in my space, seeing am I ok. I miss going shopping with her, I miss doing the crossword with her, I miss the days she used to make bread. I miss my dad being long-suffering and giving me lifts hither and thither. I miss Sunday dinners and Friday night pizzas and the old table in the kitchen with the seat in the corner that was ‘Michael’s middle’ until he grew and I came along to take the place.

I miss my best friend. Again, lives far away. Always at the end of the phone and never lets me down. I hope he thinks the same of me. Our friendship has lasted over twenty years and survived many an argument and many a boxset. But talking about Game of Thrones over the phone isn’t as much fun as watching it together and shouting at the tv.

I miss having pets. My first cat was squished in the road when I was thirteen. RIP  Merry. I’ve never had another pet of mine own; family cats, family dogs, family rabbits. I now have two cats that visit to sleep on my bed. But I miss having a pet that owns me.

I miss friends that I think are still friends but I never see. I miss those shared in-jokes, the lines that only they say and are screamingly funny. I miss their take on life, even when we disagree. I miss their wisdom and their kindness.

I miss friends I’ve never met. People online who become real, become a part of your life then go and leave a void. Online friendships can be very transitory but no less real for that.

I miss lovers I’ve never had. The ones of my imagination, the dreams that sustain you through a dark night when there is no-one to hold you close. I miss mattering to one special person, so much so it makes me cry.

If I know you and haven’t seen you, be it since yesterday or ever, I miss you.