“I need a little room to breathe” ~ Linkin Park
Or, as defined by my dictionary
Breathe (vb): to exist; be alive
I was with my Mum as she took her last breaths. It’s a position as privileged as it is painful; to be able to provide support, comfort, yet at the same time knowing that it is goodbye. A goodbye that is still incalculable, unfathomable, these months down the line and I believe will remain so for some considerable time to come.
It’s the breath that gets us all in the end; coming, going, sustaining us, leaving. We can live long lives without many things but breathing is not one of them.
But to take rich full breaths of life is not a simple matter of just breathing. It is to consciously breathe in life, breathe out what is no longer needed. That breath has to go out to make room for something new.
Yet we hold on so tightly, too tightly, to shallow breaths that do not serve us, that do not allow us the openness that is required to let go, to allow space for what comes next.
Turbine Hall at Tate Modern
Just breathe out, a good friend told me once in a time of emotional hardship. So it is no coincidence my next book is called one hundred breaths. Writing some of these stories has been me breathing out, learning not to hold myself so tightly, letting things go.
A percentage of my profit from these sales will go to Ashgate Hospice who supported my parents and my Mum’s breathing until the end.
Princess
one hundred breaths is available to pre-order from Cynefin Road: one hundred breaths
For more information or to support Ashgate Hospice: Ashgate Hospice
For more information on Multiple Sclerosis: MS
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