On being, and being a, letdown

“Don’t let me down gently if you have to let me down at all” ~ The Wonder Stuff

Or, as defined by my dictionary

Letdown (n): an occasion when somebody or something disappoints expectations or the feeling of disappointment that results


We human beings are fallible. We’d all prefer not to be but we are. It’s not possible to go through life without making mistakes or suffering at the hands of others from mistakes they make. We set standards for ourselves, for others, and when things fail we can be left feeling horribly letdown.

It’s an awful feeling. Even if you can completely understand why a plan has to be changed or cancelled, or something doesn’t come through, being letdown is a kick in the teeth. And it’s impossible to go through life without being letdown. No-one lives that much of a charmed existence. From not getting that puppy or pony or kitten as a child to the sale of your house falling through as an adult, sometimes things just don’t work out.

The greater the expectation, the harder the letdown is. If you’ve looked forward to an event for a long time then a cancellation will be a blow. If we think highly of another and they act in a way we dislike or disapprove of then disappointment is inevitable.

Of course, what’s really horrible is being the one being the letdown. Whether you have to cancel a drink with a friend because something came up at work or you behave in a way that fails someone else’s standard of you, you know when you’ve done it. It’s a little bit of guilt or unease that niggles away inside you.

More than anything, we let outselves down. I don’t think I know anyone who doesn’t set a higher standard of behaviour on themselves than they do on others. Determined to be the best, the smartest, the most perfect; we can doom ourselves to failure before we even start. That’s not to say it is wrong to have ambition. I believe in striving for more and better. But I also believe it’s important to not view it as a competition but as a means of being the best ‘you’ you can be.

I impose my own standards and I hate to let people down. But it happens. It happens because I’m sometimes selfish, sometimes forgetful, sometimes thoughtless. I’ve let people down for speaking up when they wanted me to be quiet and for being quiet when others wanted me to speak up. I’ve let friends down by cancelling plans at the last minute just because. And I’ve fucked up my love life quite spectacularly at times by making the choices and in doing so letting myself and others down. All these things don’t happen cos I’m a nasty person (I sincerely hope). I’m just human and get it wrong sometimes. I stop trying to be my best me. And in these actions I don’t believe I am alone.

So what about you guys? Do you get that niggle too when you let someone down? And has life kicked you in the teeth with letdowns sometimes too? Do let me know your thoughts, as always, on a comment box-shaped postcard.




Serious Happiness…

“I feel myself falling, I’m feeling happy now” ~ Take That

Or, as defined by my dictionary:

Happy (adj): feeling or expressing joy, causing joy or gladness, fortunate or lucky


We, that have the right to right to protest and express our views…

Happiness is:


Standing up for what you believe is right

Making a voice for those too weak, too dispirited, too frightened to speak


The freedom to express an opinion

The opportunity to debate

Allowing others a voice even if you disagree

Protecting those in need

And standing up to those trampling on others

Knowing and accepting that freedom and power come with responsibilites


Those of us that have these things should treasure them and never abuse them.


Thoughts, as always, on a comment box-shaped postcard



The Moroccan Standard

“Ooh she’s got standards but you’re cool if you’re at twenty five                                   Ooh she’s got standards til you put a twinkle in her eye” ~ The Rifles

Or, as defined by my dictionary:

Standard (n): a level of quality, an accepted example of something against which others are judged or measured

I have always wanted to go to Morocco. I once expressed this wish and a guy I worked with at the time gave me the ‘sage’ advice that I should only go with a man who wouldn’t trade me in for a camel. Bit harsh, I thought, surely I’m worth more than just one camel?

Anyway, this was too daft not to be repeated to my friends and it quickly became the Morocco Standard; a benchmark by which any man I thought about dating was measured. Forget tall, dark, and handsome, just will you trade me in a for a camel if we go to Morocco? It certainly made for some interesting first date conversations.

After a time the Morocco Standard became a bit dull. My friends and I toyed with a few other random standards but the best one was the Champagne Standard. In essence, I was only interested in a man who knew how to correctly open a bottle of champagne. This is absolutely NOT how they do it on the podium after an F1 race. You hold the cork and turn the bottle. Shocking how many people can’t do this properly.

Then there was the Kettle Standard. Quite simply, I wanted a man with a decent kettle as mine was rubbish. Yes, I know I could buy a new one but that’s hardly the point, is it? Note for the application of this, it doesn’t work if he moves in but doesn’t bring the kettle.

So what about you guys? What are your unusual Standards? Please say it’s not just me that has these? Thoughts (& applications to take me to Morocco) on a comment box-shaped postcard, please.